Home > Parenting Resources > Siblings > Sibling Rivalry
Parents with more then one child will likely hear this kind of exclamation over and over again. These are the yells of children struggling not to be left out, or making sure their siblings aren’t getting better treatment. Young children, especially up until age 5, are quickly growing in all the developmental areas--socially, emotionally, physically, cognitively. Part of social and emotional development for children is learning how to get along with others, handle and express their feelings, and being able to share and cooperate. For children in families with more than one child, home becomes that perfect classroom to start learning these social and emotional skills. Having siblings helps children learn and practice how to cooperate, work out differences, and eventually understand that they will still get their needs met and are still loved, no matter how many children are in the family. Sibling rivalry is not new nor a serious concern. However, it can have lasting positive and negative effects on the relationship between brothers and /or sisters. Whatever you call it, the “rivalry” or “competition” or “challenge” between siblings is quite normal. It is human nature. You can see the same sort of rivalry among adults in many group settings, such as on the job or on teams. The bottom line is that it’s important for parents to remember is that sibling rivalry is natural and it is usually nothing to worry about. You can help make things easier for you and your children by knowing what is behind some of your children’s feelings and actions. When a new baby brother or sister arrives in the family, it is a big deal. It brings up many feelings and concerns that most young children are not aware that they have or aren’t able to put into words. Children are continually forming a sense of themselves, and part of that self-awareness involves being part of your family. Children want to make sure they are loved and that their needs are being met. How children react and relate to one another will greatly depend on their ages. How they get along with each other and handle disagreements will also depend upon how the whole family operates. Your parenting and family patterns play a big role in influencing the way your children will relate to one another. Depending on the age of your child when the new baby arrives, you can expect different reactions. But no two children are the same, and that is key in both raising your own, and in helping them deal with new siblings. Prepare for that new baby and be sure to get a memory book. Take lots of pictures and be sure to include the other children as well! This will make them feel as important as the new little one. The same basic principles of sibling rivalry also occur in the child care setting. You will find children competing with others for providers attention, love and reassurance, fighting over space and toys, and looking to fit into the child care environment. The same suggestions are recommended for child care providers in helping children develop healthy relationships with one another. (Excerpts from childcare aware.com) |
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