Home > Parenting Resources > Parenting > Child Behavior Problems
So does that mean you need 100 different approaches to help make your home a peaceful and responsible place to live? No! Of course not. You just need to learn how you can use your influences…..your parental power…across different situations. Some of these situations are: angry and aggressive kids, bedtime battles, complaining, whining and negotiating, dependent learners, disrespect and talking back, homework battles, sensitive, easily upset kids, loud kids and loud homes, emotional meltdowns, negotiating and arguing,, picky eating, sibling battles etc etc etc. So lets just look at a one here. Meltdowns - The sensitive, easily upset child. Young children often are easily upset by minor circumstances. Perhaps they break a toy, or can’t watch their favorite program, or have to leave the playground before they’re ready. These and other every day situations can give rise to sadness, whining, and crying. Of course, some circumstances warrant an emotional response, for example, if another child takes their toy or a peer treats them unfairly or harshly. Children may react emotionally in many situations; what’s important is whether the intensity of the response is appropriate. As overly sensitive children get older, parents often see more extreme, melodramatic outbursts that continue for an extended time. In school. Such outbursts elicit negative attention and impede their ability to get along. Extreme reactions to relatively minor events often lead to interventions by parents and teachers. It may seem necessary to respond to these outbursts to help the child calm down. However, as the child gets older, the outbursts seem to increase rather than decrease, and parents spend more and more time trying to calm the child. There are three simple guidelines to a more confident child. 1. Have faith in your children’s ability to handle their lives. Whether children are in an intact or divorced family, are healthy or in some way handicapped or disabled, there’s no reason to teach them that their lives are in any way “less than” what they should be. If you label their lives as sad or unfortunate, they’ll believe you. If you feel this way, you may become overprotective. Kids who are overprotected lack the confidence to handle their own emotions or deal with difficult situations. 2. Explain to your children that they can handle their emotions. When everyone is calm. Talk to your children about the things that upset them. Offer some solutions and help solve the problems. After you have a couple of these conversations, tell them that you’ve given them the information they need to handle their won emotions. Explain that you’re not going to run to their rescue anymore or try to calm them when they’re upset. Tell them that the feelings they have may be painful, but they’ll go away. Let them know that you have confidence in their ability to cope. 3. Never rescue your children. When your children become upset and it’s part of their pattern, allow them to whine, complain, cry, have a tantrum. Don’t get angry, upset , or tearful, and don’t get into a conversation about the upset. Just be patient and let them handle it. (Dr. Randy Cale - Terrific Parenting.com) |
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