Home > Parenting Resources > Parenting > BEDTIME BATTLES
If you are struggling with any of these issues, then welcome to reality; there are many parents who do. There’s a reason why this is such a difficult set of circumstances. It is a situation where you have limited leverage with the kids, and it requires a clear and concise plan in order to get the kids to bed easily and effortlessly. There are some kids who don’t like to go to bed. They will fight you every step of the way. And yet, there are other kids who will go to bed without a single word. It’s just the way it is. What’s important is to understand that the kids who will fight you on going to bed require that you have a better plan than they do. If they fight you, and you simply fight back, this is not a plan. This is a battle! And you don’t want to get in a battle every night before bedtime. So what’s the solution? You have got to have a better plan. The plan for an effective bedtime routine is probably one of the more complicated and demanding parenting plans that you’ll have to deal with. It just takes more precision and clarity than do many circumstances. Why? Because you have relatively little leverage with the kids once it’s time for bed. As a result, it becomes critically important to use the leverage that you do have, and to set up a program that gradually and consistently teaches the children that it makes sense to go to bed, rather than deal with the consequences. What bedtime makes sense to you? What’s the routine leading up to bedtime? What daily structure and flow of events is going to make for an easy routine? It’s important to get clear about all these things. The essential theme of effective parenting centers around how you teach children. We just don’t control kids. We don’t have control, but we do have influence. The way in which we have the most influence is by learning how to master control our environment - so kids can learn from their choices. For bedtime issues, you will state that the limit is based on a particular time. And you inform your children that you want them in their beds when that time arrives. It is that simple. When trying to establish a limit on behavior, you must use consequences, and consequences come from controlling your environment. The bottom line: You can’t create a healthy bedtime routine by putting all of your energy into the bedtime battles. Instead, you must become more of a master of your own behavior, so that you don’t lose control and put your energy into the battles. In addition, you have to become a master of the environment and understand how to use structure in order to get some leverage over their behavior. ( terrificparenting.com ) |
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